Wednesday, July 30, 2008

This amazing summer

I have never, ever had a summer so very busy. I am very proud of my family and the hard work they do. My boys completed swimming lessons a couple weeks ago, completing levels three and four. I almost put them in another round of lessons, but they are taking lessons with the horses for a few weeks.

We have all been very busy at RideAbility. I am extremely happy that even my younger boys have decided to help as much as they can. My older boy who will be 11 in just a few weeks has become very aware of his power to make a difference. How fast they grow up. We all went and helped put up hay at the barn--even my husband, poor thing, came after having a very busy week. As much as I see all of us growing, I will be happy at the end of the year. It has been a very hard summer on my energy.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer; it was hard to think about losing her after Dad only going a year and a half ago. I am happy that she is doing well. I was also glad that I spent time with my mom this past month. It has been hard because of Dad being gone, it was nice to get her out and see some great things. We went up to Big Bog State Recreation Area and saw the bog. We also went by Camp Rabideau in Northern Minnesota. This former CCC camp is one of the last ones left. The other two have been changed so much so that they are not eligible for recognition as a National Historic Landmark. I think she enjoyed herself. We all learned so much. Her mother passed away this past week and it reminds you that life is short. I feel badly for my mom, though I was never close to her mother.

My daughter also made contact with her biological father's adoptive dad. Confusing, I know. He was a nice guy; I support her fully. Supporting her completely doesn't make the thought of eventually dealing with my ex husband easy though. I was young and dumb and must share the burden in the failure of our marriage, though I truly believed I tried harder. No matter, though, I do not think we were ever compatible because our wants and needs are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I always wanted a close family and he just never was. It simply was a relationship that was never meant to be a lasting one. I am comforted by her level head and awareness. She is a good girl and I have been very, very blessed. I am confident in her and our family. I even hope for the newest family of my ex, that the problems we had, are no longer an issue. I just hope she isn't hurt. The funniest thing I am finding about this is that while she is compiling genealogy information, which prompted contact by an internet server, she is absolutely amazed to the secrecy surrounding adoption records. I think it is because I have always been so open. I am glad I was.

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